What in the name of gods pajamas is a Hogwarts?
by PreviouslyDead
Summary: Georgia is off to Hogwarts and Guess who's off with her. Robbie and Dave! Robbie, who broke her heart, Dave, who's heart she broke. Both still love her but when Gee meets the sexy Hogwarts guys, anything could happen. Disclaimer:Not mine
1. Chapter 1

_**This is my first Georgia Nicolson fanfiction so don't blame me if its crap, i shall learn eventualy. Send a review to tell if its crap or not. May be OOC.**_

_**And this is set after Robbie dumps Georgia but then comes back from where ever he was like in luurve is a mant troused thing. Masimo is none existing, i don't like him and his stupid handbags. IS NOT A ONE-SHOT.**_

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14 august Saturday

9:00am

In bedroom

Raining

Hogwarts

What sort of a name is that?

What kind of person would _give_ a school that name?

As in, on purpose.

To think that moi, Gee, will be going to a school with a poo name. A name made entirely of poo.

As in crap. The brown stuff.

Though not literally…I hope.

Because then it would be _tres_ stinky.

I got a letter given to me this morning.

Well kind of.

It was more like Angus got the owl that had the letter and I sort of had to wrestle it out of his evil clutches, (Angus, not the owl) thankfully the owl was fine so for once, we didn't have to explain to some daft coot that his owl was as dead as two dead things.

Anyway, phoned around and asked carefully and deviously if the Ace crew if they had revived any strange letters full of strangosity. None of them had.

Huh. Seems like I'm the only one unlucky enough to get invited to a school called _Hogwarts_…

9:47am 

Still raining, still in bedroom

Yes! Score!

Dave the L. and Robbie both got a letter, for SG he say's he received one late and as myself and Dave the L. are going to be in 4th year, he'll be in 5th, originally he wouldn't have been put in at all but since the old guy…Dumbledorie…had been full of generosity and decided he would allow him to enter a lower year. Ahh the kindness of old twits.

Anyway, the old dude has called a meeting thing with all out parents (I pity him when he meets my Vati and Mutti)

1 minute later

Just realised that perhaps having only Robbie and Dave with me may not be such a good idea…

Another minute later

Not a good idea _at all_.

What if Dave accidentally spills all the secretness of my red minxyness? Even though the sex god and I are no more?

That settles it, I can't go. I refuse to go.

10 minutes later

Oh god, what should I wear??

At meeting.

5:00pm

I couldn't resist going. Then again, who in the right mind with parents like mine would willingly miss an opportunity to get away from them, to run free and let my wild side free…as long as there are no Wet Lindseys there I will be safe. As safe as two safe things.

With knobs on.

Robbie has just arrived and my knees, as always, have contracted fatal jelloidness.

Oh, and Dave followed him in. They haven't noticed me, maybe I can hide!

2 minutes later

"Uh, Gee?" Came the voice belonging to Robbie, a voice full of matureosity and…stuff. "Why are you hiding in a big fern plant?"

"Is it not obvious?" I asked, not being able to stop the words as they poured like marsupials from my mouth, not bothering to check with the small peanut sized brain in me head "I am hiding from the mongoose" I made sure my voice was calm and sophisticated…unlike my hair which had bits of dirt scattered around in it. Dave was peering over Robbie's shoulder with eye brows raised.

So I raised my own furry lines, the ones residing above my head.

He raised his higher.

So I raised mine once more.

Then it was his bat.

Then mine again, SG is looking at us both like we belong with the criminally insane.

And if Dave the L's eyebrows have anything to say about it, we do.

Oh, poo, his eyebrows have disappeared into his hair for a holiday, I wonder if Dave's Hair Land has pools.

"Can I visit your hair?" oh my god! Did I just say that out loud? As in loudly??

Double _merde_!

"Um…sure. If that's what you want sex kitty" Dave responded looking as confused as a porcupine with no pines. I saw Robbie's eyes narrow slightly at Dave as I turned an interesting (I'm totally sure) shade of red. Trust my skin colour to abandon me now, I properly look like a tomato.

"Sex…Kitty?" SG's voice was strangely flat.

Dave, at that very moment in time, realised exactly what he had said and who he had said it too, and after shooting me an apologetic half smiley look, he slinked off like a pale slinky, using the excuse of needing the poo parlour division..

Robbie looked at me as he repeated the question.

"Ah, yes, well." I stammered with a shaky laugh "Oh, look!" I pointed quickly at something over Robbie's shoulder and hurried off as he turned to look.

7:00pm

Oh god. Things are so weird right now.

I'm a witch!

As in "BIBBITY BOB!" how am I going to cope? A WITCH I tell you!

Will I have to perform virgin rites with Robbie and Dave? Or maybe sacrifice Gordy or Angus to some strange godly god?

No, thank cheese.

Dumbledorie told all as we sat agog as two gogs.

From gog land, home of all gogs.

Anyway, we leave tomorrow to the land of the point hats. How shall I cope without my hellish sister?

Quite well I imagine.

I've done packing and now am just sitting watching the rain. No one had called, that's how much they love me. Ha!

Not a lot, is it? Nope, they have abandoned me in my time of much need.

I refuse to phone any of them, not once shall that phone touch my eary hole.

7:04pm

Phoned Jas.

"Jas" I said

"What?"

"Don't say what like that, its annoying"

"Well, what do you want?" she muttered like a big, fringed vole.

"To tell you something importantish" I said, quite calm like if you ask me

"Well, get on with it" she urged sounding annoyed

"You're then one with the big fringe!"

She hung up.

that's that then, I won't be ringing again in a hurry.

One minute later

Rang Jas again.

"Oh, not you again"

Charming.

I put the phone down.


	2. Chapter 2

Um, here's the next chapter of this story. I wasn't really sure where this chapter was going because no one has given me any ideas….but omg omg! I love my brain! I just got a good…if no vair vair strange…idea! Mwahahaha…I wonder if you'll all hate me…

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8 am

On train

Bored as a duck…Um, a duck with nothing to do, that is.

Ugh, I'm in a compartment with Robbie and Dave. Its kind of silent and awkward in here. No one's looking at each other and the only sound to be heard is that of le cough. I wonder what would happen is I suddenly shouted something random. Like… "BANANAS!" They both looked at me, Robbie with the eye brows of raisiness and Dave with a smirk on his face. I did the totally mature thing to do, an action so full of sophisticosity that it bordered on being German.

I stuck my tongue out.

See? Vair, vair matureish.

They do not seem surprised.

That kind of worries me… does it mean that I am unsurprising? Or are they just that used to me? Hmm…I shall have to ponder this mystery.

5 minutes later 

Aha!

I have un answer!

Tis tres bon.

Tres magnifique perhaps, maybe even with knobs on…

Oo-er.

1 minute later.

Okie dokie, advice time.

When your in a train compartment, in silence, with two funny/SG guys, do not (Repeat: DO NOT) burst into hysterical giggles then blurt out the sentence "Tres magnifique, you have knobs!" for some reason, people will seem to think you've lost it. Big time.

"Um, I remember her being slightly less...um...strange then this..." I herd Robbie mutter as if i couldn't hear him.

"Nah," Dave smirked "She's always this crazy when she's nervous, bored or drunk. I should know, i've been around for all of these things." Robbie looked at him, a frown appearing on his face. When i glanced at Dave i instantly knew he'd said that to spite Robbie. Coughing nervously at the tension in the cramped compartment, I grabbed my bag from the over head compartment and took some lip gloss. Then i leaned over so i was closer to Dave and smeared the lip gloss on his fore head. Then, as Robbie was lauhging so hard, i threw my shoe at him.

"Bad dog, heel" i growled, pointing at the window.

Why? I don't know but it seemed to do the job.

"Kitty? Why point at the window?" Dave asked curiously. Robbie shot a glare at him like the glare was a bullet...an invisible bullet...an invisible bullet that causes no blood. or holes...or pain. So really its not a bullet glare...more like a duck glare. Shaking myself out of the vision in my head of Robbie throwing a rubber duck a Dave, i tried to think of something to say that wasn't (a) stupid or (b) um...stupid. (Seems like the only things i say these days are stupid things)

"Cos...the window is sexy...and...um...blue," i nodded like a wise noddy thing.

"Um, no, Gee, the window is white...and not really that sexy. Now, the door on the other hand..." Dave grinned. Robbie just stared.

three hours later

Finally we arrived. There were two people who i guessed were students...or really small, young looking teachers i suppose. One had this really weird bush-like hair, she was carrying a huge bag filled with books like it wasn't even heavy. The guy standing next to her was blond haired. Blond as in almost white haired, it was hanging slihgtly over his eyes until he looked up. I held back my gasp before i could travel to the land of gasping fools.

But, phewie. Sexy times a million. Sex god to the extream. Our eyes met and i swear, it was like one of those really really crappy films where it goes all blurry around the edges. He raised an eye brow and i realised i was drooling. Blushing furiously i looked down at my very interesting feet. Glancing up at Dave and Robbie i saw that they were both scowling at Blonde Dude. I looked back at the guy again, just to bask in his light of gloriousity. He was smirking at me like a big smirking thing. Almost like Mark the human gob but y'know...sexier and actualy good looking...and with a normal sized mouth. Thank God! His friend glanced at him, scowled and elbowed him in the gut.

"Draco!" she hissed "Stop smirking at her!" Draco turned his starey eyes to her and narrowed them.

I didn't hear exactly what he said but it sounded like "Shut it, Mudblood!" she recoiled when he said the last word like he had called her a swear word or something.

Dumbildorie...or however you say his stupidly long name...came up from behind them.

"This is Draco and Hermione," He told us "They're prefects for this year, very promising indeed. They'll show you to your rooms. Because you cam in late this year and it is indeed your first time, you'll all be staying in the prefects quarters (sp?) with these two and the other prefects. Things have changed since last year but since you were not even aware of your statis at that moment in time, it will not matter to you"

I think we all just blinked at him. Like a band of blinky things...we could be The Blinkers, like The Fratellies, only better.

"This way please" The one-at-which-we-blinked said, leading us up to the huge castle (Though not as big as Jas's knickers...)


	3. Chapter 3

Yeah! The next chapter of GN is here! Whooah! Lol, so here it is, a long time coming but finally here. And is it just me or am i using too many heres? Also, forgive me if the time periods are wrong. i cant really match everything up right. Yes its short but im at school at the moment.

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A week later.

8pm

So we start classes tomorrow. We've been learning stuff to catch up on all the other pointy hatted people. Utterly boring when it comes to after those classes, or maybe that's because i don't have the Ace Gang with me, not that they care or anything..

Robbie and Dave seem to be avoiding me...maybe i should sneak up on them and...stuff, like that time Rosie wore a 'tash and wig and snuck up behind Jas, pretending to be a poodle, she was soooooo annoyed.

Yes, i rather like that idea, i shall annoy them so much that they have to speak to me!

Genius. If i do say so myself. Which i do. Obviously.

10pm

Eeek. That certainly wasn't supposed to happen. Nope, not at all.

Sigh, Draco Malfoy...Georgia Malfoy.

Sounds so right, right?...Right?

Anyway, here's what happened...

I was walking around in the corridors like i knew i shouldn't, looking for a way to torment SG and Dave, like i also knew i shouldn't, when who should i run into?

The ultimate Sex God. Blond, tall and bad. And obviously sexy...i'd even say he was more sexy then...uh...lots of sexy things.

Yummy if you put it into one word only.

So anyway, i blushed like a blushing tomato and mumbled something I'm pretty sure sounded like 'Sorry, the possums were chasing me' when he asked me where the hell i was going.

It was like a silent place on silent day until the sun went down and it became chuckle town.

Honestly, I've never heard a sexy laugh as sexy as the sex gods...and I'm using the S word too much.

Sex.

Sexy.

Salami.

There, out of my system.

Anyway, I'm almost positive that the only reason he laughed was because he was surprised.Draco Malfoy doesn't seem like the kind of guy to laugh or even smile at just anything.

So we were just watching each other after his laughter had stopped echoing around the room. Echo, echo, echo...yeah.

Eventually Draco opened his mouth so say something. Maybe something like "I have not known thou long, my dearest Gee, but i wish so much to have you as my girlfriend"? But no, what came out was more like...

"Move it, Mudblood," Accompanied by an evil smirk. I blinked in surprise,mainly because i knew nothing of what the name meant. Before i could even reply i heard an angry stomp, thundering feet hurrying towards us.

Draco glanced over my shoulder and rolled his eyes, his expression going from sneering, flicking for a second to sad, then straight to a forced coldness once more.

Looking around to see the object of his attention i saw Robbie. And Dave...Wands out? Pointing them at Draco? Yep, apparently they at least knew the meaning of the word Mudblood.

"Don't you dare call her that again!" Robbie growled, his voice resembling that of...um, a weird, growly, animal type thing.

Dave just glared, his eyes going a narrow-y and what not.

"Guys!" i interrupted the glares before Draco (Sex God extraordinaire) could speak, most likely to insult them both, "Guys, look, its not a big deal," my two wombats turned to look at me incredulously (Whoah big word!) and Draco raised an eye brow in my direction.

"Do you even know what it means?" Dave frowned at me, his wand lowering slightly.

I blink.

"Um...well...no, not really. Nope," i shook my head "Can't say i do,"

The wand is firmly back and pointed once More at Draco.

"Then don't say its not a big deal," Robbie muttered, it seemed for once that Robbie and Dave were actually agreeing...oh look, there goes that flying pig!

"Okay," I muttered, making a snap decision "Dave, Robbie," i glared sternly at them "Go little doggies, of to bed now!" And another silence.

Gees, whats with all the quiet? Can someone not join the loud people?

I guess the honor is down to me then.

So i burst out singing 'I believe i can fly'

Yeah you can imagine the weird looks i got...and the surprising compliment from Neville who just happened to be walking past

(cough stalker cough)

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Dunno when the next chapter will be up cos i have no ideas on what im doing to it. Or with it. I haven't even got it yet.


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